Intermission

So, it turns out I suck at even a tiny little project. It's been 4 weeks since the last waffle, and I'm about to add another 3 weeks to that, because reasons. If all goes to plan, I shall return to my kitchen at the beginning of July, whereupon I plan to persue waffles across America* with renewed vigour. Maybe even vengeance. If you fancy trying out something new in the meantime, how about making one of these amazing Next Level Waffles? @camannwordsmith sent me the link ages ago, and while I've not been brave enough to attempt these, I'm sure you suffer no such fear! If you do make any of them, let me know how you got on? Thankies. Hope everyone's well and waffled up.

/PSA


* Oooooh, see what I did there?

Week 7: Churro Waffles

Sorry about last week, Team Waffle! The gingerbread waffles WILL be a thing, but last weekend kinda fell through the cracks and I never found it again.

However! Today, Waffles Across America Totally. Happened. @JadeSnake had this great idea of a #WaffleHangout, so, this morning, we hooked up on Skype and made churro waffles - me here in London at 8am, Jade and @SemiEvolved at midnight in San Francisco. Making a note here: HUGE. SUCCESS.

Here's the recipe, via our amazing friend Thera. You should make these. They're incredibly sweet, because, let's face it, you dunking them in melted butter and then rolling them in cinnamon and sugar, but believe me when I say that they are very, very tasty indeed without this last part, too.

Alas, I forgot to grease my so-called non-stick waffle iron, and the waffles promptly came apart when I tried to pry them out, so there's no pictures this week. Let's all assume they looked exactly like this. Yes. Let's. Ahem.

Week 6: Waffles and Chicken, you say? YUM, I say!

Welcome to week 6 of Waffles Across America, wherein I overcome my fear of putting foods together that do not go together. Not where I'm from, anyway! The recipe comes courtesy of fellow seamonkey @joshacagan, everyone's favourite Elvis Costello lookalike and writer of the awesome Learning Town, which YOU WILL WATCH RIGHT NOW if you haven't done so already. Also if you have done so already. Because.

Disclaimer: I didn't have much time this weekend, so there was no way I was going to attempt southern fried chicken. So I bought some. "From scratch" is not in my vocabulary.

Son of Disclaimer: There is no buttermilk powder in my local supermarket, and as I don't yet know enough to be able to confidently substitute wet and dry ingredients without blowing up my house, I went looking for a random buttermilk recipe online. Found a likely candidate on www.chefkoch.de and used half measures, as below. They were awesome.

To the kitchen!

Ingredients
Southern Fried Chicken. Buy you some, or make it as per the original recipe (which sounds amazing, by the way, and I will totally attempt to make the chicken, one day #soon.)

For the waffles:
- 62.5g butter (at room temperature)
- 25g sugar
- 1 tbsp vanilla sugar
- pinch of salt
- 2 eggs
- 125g flour
- 1/2 tsp baking powder
- 100ml buttermilk

Method
1. Cook chicken as per the instructions on the packaging (or as per the recipe above, which recommends an overnight marinade in spices and buttermilk. Are you drooling yet?)
2. Mix butter, sugar, vanilla sugar, salt, eggs and buttermilk. Make sure that butter isn't too cold or you'll be mixing until your arm falls off. I had the hardest time re-attaching mine.
3. Mix flour and baking powder and add to the wet goods. The mixture will have the consistency of  thick, runny honey.
4. Cook them waffles!

Result
A thousand words:

Chicken, meet waffle. Waffle, chicken.

The waffles are quite chewy and only taste nice when warm. But then, oh my, are they tasy. I liked the syrup with the chicken, and the syrup with the waffles, but I didn't quite like the chicken with the waffle. This may well be because a) store-bought sfc and b) different waffle recipe.

I think I have to eat this in its natural habitat. Looks like you need to make good on your promise and take me to that waffle place in L.A., Josh! If I ever make it back there...

Next time, we're making gingerbread waffles. GINGERBREAD WAFFLES, y'all. I have examined this phrase and find it good.

I aten't ded!

ALRIGHT, #TEAMWAFFLE!? I'm sorry I've been afk (away from kitchen) - too much to deal with at work and two weekends away, is my excuse. However! I have time tomorrow, so I'll be making chicken and waffles as per the recommendation of the ever-awesome @joshacagan! (And pretty much every #teamwaffle member in the States. They're a bit...weird over there.)

I'm very excited about this. This is the recipe, if you want to waffle along!

Full disclosure: I will NOT be making the southern friend chicken from scratch, because I'm a coward. I don't want to screw it up, plus I don't even know if I like chicken and waffles, so, for this trial run, I've bought some read-made southern friend chicken drumsticks that I'll only have to pop in the oven. Yes, I know. I promise, if I like this as much as I think I will, I shall attempt the chicken next.

See you tomorrow!

Damnation and woe

There will be no new recipe this weekend because I must deal with Life, which is being a jerk. Normal service to resume...SOON.

Week 5: Alton Brown's Luft-Waffles (yeah, I know...)

Everything was so late today I don't have time to write up Week 5, wherein I cooked some incredible waffles, which made me happy.

If you're waffling along, here's the recipe, which @burnumd was kind enough to write out for me. I'll report tomorrow. One thing you might want to know up front: This produces a BAZILLION waffles.

Alton Brown's Luft-Waffles:
Dry goods:
all-purpose flour 270g (2 cups)
baking powder 5g (1tsp)
baking soda 3g (1/2tsp)
salt 6g (1tsp)

Wet goods:
unsalted butter 57g (4tbs), melted and cooled slightly
eggs 150g (3 large), beaten
buttermilk 454g (2 cups), at room temp
sugar 42g (3tbs)

Sift all dry goods (or pulse for 5s in a food processor)
Whisk the melted butter and the eggs together
Whisk the rest of the liquid goods (yes, that includes sugar) into the butter and egg mixture.
Add the liquid goods to the dry goods and mix just until batter comes together. DO NOT MIX SMOOTH.
Set the batter aside to rest for 5 minutes (or refrigerate for up to 1 hour)

Then you cook them. Forever. Alton says "Yields six 8-inch round waffles" but his iron must be about an inch deeper than mine. I made 18 (18!) 4x5 waffles.

Anyway, they were amazing. More tomorrow. Also: pictures!

ETA: I've not done anything with this post because I had some bad news on Monday and my heart's not in it. But I can at least show you the pictures!

1. Line up All The Things

2. Mix until you think it's "just" come together... Yeah, I know.

3. Set aside for 5 mins...and science happens!

4. Use SMALL spoonfuls for your first attempt.

ARE YOU DROOLING YET?

I hope you've hired a small army to eat them all.

Week 5 shopping list

After last week's...er, shall we say mixed results, I've decided to try a recipe that doesn't involve yeast in any shape or form. Thus, we will be making a recipe of Alton Brown's, as recommended by @burnumd and @AngerMonkey!

If you want to waffle along, you will need:

Dry goods:
all-purpose flour 270g (2 cups)
baking powder 5g (1tsp)
baking soda 3g (1/2tsp)
salt 6g (1tsp)

Wet goods:
unsalted butter 57g (4tbs) melted and cooled slightly
eggs 150g (3 large)
beaten buttermilk 454g (2 cups), at room temp
sugar 42g (3tbs)

How awesome are these measurements? THIS awesome!

See you all on Sunday.

Week 4: How not to make Gauffres the Liege

Welcome to Week 4 of Waffles Across America, wherein I aimed too high and promptly ruined a perfectly good batch of ingredients. Let me start by saying this:

If you don't have a stand mixer and you suffer from RSI in your wrists, a bad back or carpal tunnel syndrome: DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME. Trust me.

Now, where was I. Oh yes! Ruining waffles. So, the recipe was recommended by my friend @Origamislayer, who deserves all the blame, of course, but also many kudos. Because, let's face it: Those waffles right there look amazing. And the ingredients are all good, so on the day they're done right, I bet they are tasty as anything. Alas, today was not that day.

To the kitchen!

Ingredients
6 tablespoons warm milk (no hotter than 110°F)
1/2 teaspoons granulated sugar 

2 teaspoons instant yeast
1 1/2 cups (230 grams) bread flour, sifted
1 teaspoons cinnamon
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoons salt
1 medium egg
1 egg yolk
1/2 cup (4 oz/ 113g) unsalted butter, at slightly cooler than room temperature
140 grams turbinado sugar, or pearl sugar if you choose

Notes: The closest to 'turbinado or pearl sugar' I could get was demerara. Also, I didn't know whether to use white or brown bread flour, so I went with white. I used semi-skimmed milk because I had it in the house. Not sure if that was one of my many mistakes?

I bet that cow is judging me.

Method
I followed the recipe to the letter; thusly:

Dissolve the sugar in the warm milk; then add the yeast. Make sure that the milk is not too hot, lest it kill the yeast instead of promoting its growth. Place a plate or some kind of cover on top of the bowl with the milk, sugar and yeast. Set aside for about five minutes. When you check on it, the yeast should have bubbled up, looking light brown and spongy. 

I heated the milk for exactly ten seconds in the microwave and tested the temperature with my pinky. It felt lukewarm. I figured that was the intention. Stirred in the sugar, then the yeast, which basically clumped immediately. I stirred the stuff like a berserker until it looked smooth and set it aside. When I looked at it 5 minutes later, it had indeed bubbled and turned brown. Alas! When I poured it into the dry ingredients, half the milk came out on its own, and the yeast was a great big blob of stuff. Big mistake when you don't have a mixer.

Meanwhile, mix the sifted bread flour with the cinnamon, vanilla extract, and salt in the bowl of a stand mixer. Pour in the yeast mixture; then add the whole egg and egg yolk. Mix on medium speed until it is fully combined. The dough will be yellow and stiff, yielding only slightly to a poke. Cover the mixing bowl with plastic wrap and let the dough rest in a warm place for about thirty minutes.

"Mix on medium speed," ha! Oh how I wish I had a stand mixer. I kneaded and kneaded and pushed and squished until my wrists started screaming insults at me and I had to stop. Despite the fact the dough was far from yellow, I thought I'd not done too badly, considering:

Old Man Willow in the house.

Beat in the butter piece by piece; you do not have to wait for the prior piece to be fully incorporated before adding the next. When the dough has incorporated about half of the butter, the mixture will be like a very thick, somewhat broken-up paste. If you keep engaging the mixer on medium-high speed, the dough will eventually become a cohesive whole, looking smoother and more feeling more elastic. Scrape the sides of the bowl if needed.
Kneading very gently, incorporate the sugar crystals just enough to get them evenly distributed. Work quickly so as not to soften the buttery dough too much.
Divide the dough into a dozen equal pieces, gently forming them into balls.

This nearly broke me. Working 114g of butter into the toughest dough I've ever made was damn hard. I don't think I'll get much use out of my hands tomorrow. But! I somehow succeeded in getting it all in and making balls. Hurrr. Balls. They looked nothing like the ones on the website...

Not like they should look at all.

...because, I reckon, I forgot to do this: Place the balls of dough on a cutting board in a warmish place for fifteen minutes or so.

And then I cooked the buggers. The first batch burned into crisp, black discs of awful - all that sugar! - and went straight to the bin. The second lot came out slightly less blackened and looking like waffles. Cooking time: 3 minutes (down from 4).

Look! Waffles.

I'd like to finish on this here high note, but in the interest of full disclosure, I must tell you a few things about these waffles:

 - They're way too sweet. I wonder if it's down to the type of sugar I used. Must find pearl sugar for the next round. The sugar on the outside, whilst providing that Belgian glaze, is too crunchy. Also it burns black real quick.
- They didn't turn solid in the waffle iron - they were done, but they fell apart when I tried to lift them out.
- Conversely, as soon as they cooled down a bit they turned into an approximation of Dwarf Bread. But they still crumbled really easily! Hey, Chemistry? What am I doing wrong?
- They're not soft, they're hard, like shortbread biscuits. #sadmouth

Thus. If anyone needs some sticky, rock-hard throwing weapons that dissolve in mid-flight, I have just the thing!

Also good for masonry.

So there you have it. They're edible, but nothing like Gauffres the Liege, and not something you'd write home about. Unless you're me.

I know the yeast thing went wrong. Also, next time I'm using the right sugar, whole milk, AND A STAND MIXER. With a dough hook. If anyone who reads this has spotted any other obvious mistakes in my approach, will you let me know? Ta. :)

Next week, I will find something easier. Maybe cornmeal waffles. Or potato waffles. Or something with almond milk, because the very concept is intriguing to me.

Week 4 Shopping List

I'm nervous, but I think it's time for something much more difficult, but potentially amazing. This weekend, I will attempt to make an approximation of these waffles right here. Recommended by @origamislayer, who shall be blamed if my kitchen explodes.

Shopping list
milk
granulated sugar
instant yeast
bread flour
cinnamon
vanilla extract
salt
2 eggs
unsalted butter
140 grams turbinado sugar, or pearl sugar if you choose

Re: the latter: Tesco doesn't stock either, so unless I get time to shop around tomorrow, I will be using brown sugar instead.

Prep time looks to be about an hour, which affords me many opportunities to screw up. But I say unto my inner coward: EXCELSIOR. Mid snow, and icing sugar.

Waffle along?

Week 3: Waffle Pizza. Holy shit.

Welcome to the great Easter Weekend Waffle-Pizza Crossover! This week, we were all over America. Witness the second coming of the recipe: @zulahni in Seattle thought it, @aliceandstuff in Brooklyn found it, @KaylaCagan in L.A. forwarded it to me, and the original poster was @Bourbonnatrix in Ontario, Canada. Is this awesome, Y/Y? I have the best friends. THE BEST FRIENDS.

Thus! Let's make to the kitchen. Once again, I had to modify the ingredients slightly - for example, I had no cooked, chopped bacon. I know, outrage, etc. The waffles still work but I strongly recommend you do not repeat my mistake. Use the bacon. Use it well.

I tried with the half measures again, which was difficult because we're talking things like 1/6 cup of olive oil? How much is that? Nobody knows. So I used a splash (TM). Your mileage may vary.

Ingredients (for four 4x5 inch waffles. Full measures here)
1 cup all purpose flour
1 heaped tbsp grated parmesan cheese
1 tsp sugar
1/2 tbsp baking powder
1/2 tbsp basil
1/2 tsp garlic seasoning
pinch of salt
generous pinch of black pepper

100ml milk
1 egg
generous splash of olive oil
1 tsp sundried tomato pesto

These measures need tweaking, because, while the pizza tasted awesome, the waffles themselves could've been better. I suggest you make the full measures as per the original recipe. And don't forget your bacon!

Method
Step 1: Mix all dry ingredients, set aside.
Step 2: Whisk wet ingredients, then pour into dry ones and mix.
Step 3: Add pesto (and bacon), mix again.
Step 4: Cook em, baby!
Step 5: Top the warm waffles with your favourite pizza toppings and shove 'em in the oven/ under a grill/ whatever to melt the cheese.
Step 5: PROFIT.

Pizzaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

And there you have it, friends. One Waffle Pizza, feat. pizza sauce, ham, salami and cheese. It was amazing.

Result
Simplicity of recipe: 9 out of 10, because I had to guess some of the measures.
Sweet or savory: Savory.
Texture: Chewy. Bit too tough - I reckon I needed more olive oil.
Taste: AWESOME. The waffles could've been less bland. Maybe a bit more salt and pepper next time? Also, bacon.

Next week, I will learn to take better photos. Also, there will be waffles.